Jewish

…And That Means What Exactly?

"Are you Jewish?”

The question is asked casually, socially, politically, romantically. Sometimes by someone holding a clipboard, or a religious article. Or a weapon.

But what does “Jewish” mean? What makes someone Jewish?

Seems like a silly question, but there’s no universal or even solid answer.

Ask an Orthodox rabbi what makes someone Jewish, you’ll get a confident answer: “If your mother is Jewish.”

Conversation over. Next question.

Well, I’ll give you two next questions and the conversation is definitely NOT over:

1. What makes the mother Jewish?

Follow the glib answer uphill and you’ll eventually lose your footing. Who is the Original Jewish Mother? There is none. (No, not Sarah, the biblical foremother. She had no daughters.)

Note: If you know a good answer to who is the original Jewish Mama, stop here and test whether your answer holds up.

2. What’s the basis of this matrilineal delineator? Surely the basic rule of identity for this religion is in its bible? Maybe one of its ten commandments? Nope. The Hebrew Bible says nowhere, “A Jew is anyone born to a Jewish mother.” That a rabbinic interpretation. An extrapolation from an inference. The supposedly airtight, divinely ordained, Jew categorization anchors on scholarly inference. And who decides what’s a scholar and that his extrapolation is divine truth? (Hint: Another Rabbi’s biblical extrapolation. Circular, or what).

There’s no steel beam supporting “Jewish”. It’s like the end of a Jenga game.

But I like puzzles, so …

Maybe Jewish motherhood began at Mount Sinai. God publicly declares a covenant with some people. Boom — Jews. There’s no one Mother at the top of the genealogical tree. All women then are christened, er, jewized, as the motherlode.

Except, the biblical narrative mentions a “mixed multitude” at Sinai. Lots of Egyptians joined the newly freed slaves and became part of the chosen people. Were their women part of the motherlode too? Jewishness starts at the bottom of the mountain but could trace back to an Egyptian unrelated to Abraham? Seems off, and dilutes Abraham’s position at the top of the tree.

Can we delineate by… religiosity? Nope. Non-practicing Jews exist.

Ethnicity? Try defining biological markers without circular reasoning.

Nationality? There’s no country called Jew. (And no, not Israel. There are non-Jewish Israelis and Jewish non-Israelis).

Culture? Love bagels and argue loudly and you’re in?

Can it be self-declared? Religious authorities assert identity is inherited and legally determined.

The word Jewish refuses definition. It can mean religion in one sentence, ethnicity in another, nationality, trauma, food, intelligence, stubbornness, shyness, thievery, Israelism, Zionism, scapegoat…

Yet, everyone talks as if all agree on a definition.

But. Once you accept and use this chameleon of a word and its ethereal mother, the definition is conveniently quite expandable.

Born Jewish but atheist? Still Jewish. Practice nothing? Still Jewish. Openly reject Judaism? Still Jewish (according to some). Converted under the “wrong” rabbi? Not Jewish (according to others).

Membership can include you even if you refuse it, and can exclude you if you enter through the wrong door.

This isn’t just scrabble and wordplay. The term “Jew” grants immigration rights in Israel, affects marriage eligibility in religious courts, fuels political rhetoric and has justified pride, persecution, and much worse. History shows what happens with its definitions. When a government decides what “Jew” means, it stops being just a semantic conversation.

Effectively, Jewish is law, blood, belief, culture, history, covenant, food and guilt. And none of those definitions cancel the others.

So, when someone asks, “Are you Jewish?” the appropriate response is: “Define Jewish.” Without clarification, it’s like playing ball, without one.

But, for those who believe the historical narrative and its rabbinical biblical extrapolations, and need an answer for who was the first Jewish mother, I offer:

Until god publicly identified ITs people at Mt Sinai, the folks with whom IT was maintaining connection maintained their familial identity through men, not women: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the tribes. From Mt Sinai onward, that’s when the women from those male chains became the motherlode. Anyone today who asserts their mother was Jewish must trace back to one of the women at Mt. Sinai who came from the menfolk who communicated with god. I don’t think most people can do that, but that’s the delineator.

I also think the definition of Jewish is inherently and intentionally circular and vague - as a survival mechanism. A definition too clear can be disproven. A blurry one can adapt, shift, expand, contract. Eternity through elasticity. I can filter or color or fluff up a total membership number at will, if I, not you, control the membership status.

Jew isn’t a race, religion, nation, story, club or covenant, and it’s all of those.

It’s whatever anyone who raises its flag is, as long as they have sufficient social traction. It changes and is changed as its flag bearers need to. It’s prehistoric and quietly rearranges through time.

And now, for my cherry on top:

What’s with the “ish”?

There’s ish in languages. English from England. Spanish from Spain. Irish from Ireland. Jewish would be from Jew, except but there’s no place “Jew,” and Jewish is a religion, not a language. And no other religion uses ish for its member. It’s Christian, not Christish. Muslim, not Islamish. Hindu, not Hinduish. Buddhist, not Buddhish.

So, I say, the “ish’ of Jewish is actually some accuracy in this mess of unclarity.

Like the ish in tall-ish, smart-ish, child-ish, self-ish, - which means “not exactly,” but “like, similar, sort of ….” Jew-ish says we’re dealing with an unidentifiable thing.

It’s a religion that’s a lot of things and nothing, chosen and abandoned, celebrated and blamed, blessed and cursed. It’s an identity whose rulebook itself is argued about, and argument too is part of its tradition.

Since there's no clear definition of Judaism and its Jew, we must refer to someone belonging to it, as Jew-ish.

Yes. I just dropped the mike. Sort of ish